One should not let a person die alone. Indeed, in several societies, there are people whose role is to provide this special service. They are not there in the capacity of ritual mourners, but to act as a companion or guide — a kind of spiritual midwife. Their work is considered to be of great merit. Trungpa Rinpoche, in the Introduction to The Tibetan Book of the Dead (Fremantle and Trungpa) said that he learned to do that when he was just eight years old.
This companionship is not only to assuage the fears of the dying, but also to comfort the mind of the person immediately as it detaches itself from the physical body. This perspective is not only Buddhist (or Hindu) for, as states the Jewish Code of Laws compiled by 12th century sage Moses Maimonides (Shulhan Arukh 194: 4,) “From the moment a person is in the throes of death, no one is allowed to leave him, in order that his soul may not depart when he is all alone, because it is bewildered when departing from the body. . . . .”
I believe that this is attributable to: H.E. Ayang Rinpoche (Drikung Kagyu) and apologize if I have gotten the attribution wrong. In any case I feel that it is an important point to consider. We carry the companionship that we have developed in caregiving right to the moment of death. We needn’t be afraid of this moment but see as the culmination when the value of our presence, simply being there, is comforting for the person who is facing a bewildering transition.
