The Practitioner’s Course provided me with a very profound yet practical tool for being with my grandmother as she has been preparing for her death. I remember very clearly my reluctance to speak with her concerning her death. Although she was 102 years, and the nearness of death inevitable, breaking the taboo of actually talking to her about her understanding and feelings about dying was very hard for me. When I actually asked her how she felt about dying, she told me that she had been ready the year before but felt that she had to learn something. She was eager and relieved to have someone to talk with about it.
It wasn’t important to provide a mental explanation of the transit teachings, the connection between us is primarily one of being to being, since her interest and ability to talk about “conventional reality” is limited. She understands that I will be praying for her and that I will be with her. Her language, while limited, has powerful symbolic resonance for me. After reading the Clear Light prayer to her, she asked me if I knew how to help her find the hallways and the upper rooms, saying she knew I had been there before. After my surprise, I answered, then teased her, “If you know about the hallways, you must have been there too.” We both laughed.
After surgery for a broken hip, she was physically weakened for a very long period of time and in a great deal of pain. I would play the music tapes “Beyond the Veil” and “Bardo Dreams” and she would fall into a deep restful sleep. During her weakened physical state, she would enter into cycles that parallel cycles in childbirth. Her breathing would become shallow and her consciousness would be withdrawn from the physical environment. Recognizing different stages in her process from the teachings were helpful in orienting me and remaining present with her.
T. M.
New York City
