Here you will find book reviews from the Great Adventure newsletter; several below, and please see the drop down list above. Therse include books and articles in the fields of bereavement, pastoral care, the funeral industry, spiritual end of life care and death & dying.
The Death of Death: Resurrection and Immortality in Jewish Thought
by Neil Gillman
318 pp., hardcover, $23.95,
ISBN: 1-879045-61-3, Jewish Lights Publishing
This extended survey of Jewish thought on eternal life from pre-history up to the
present, by a noted theologian, is a top-notch offering from an excellent specialist
publisher. Expecting to be plunged into Old Testament and Kabbalistic
crosscurrents, I was surprised to read in the opening chapter a definition of
“eschatology,” a capsule introduction to myth and human myth-making, a
perspective on Jewish thought that incorporates sociology and even anthropology,
and quotes from authors including Leo Tolstoi (“The Death of Ivan Ilyich,” which
belongs on anyone’s top-ten story list…), psychologist Rollo May, medical doctor
Sherwin Nuland, and several philosophers. For non-studious or fallen-away Jews, as
well as interested non-Jews, this book is a superior introduction to the entire history
of Judaic thought. After a survey of Biblical and early sources, Gillman offers a
lucid chapter on key thinker Maimonides, a brief but brilliant window on Kabbalah
including a summary of the indispensable Gershom Scholem’s research, and a
thoughtful treatment of contemporary Jewish controversy regarding
resurrection—finishing with the author’s personal response to the various
arguments. Just dipping into this book, as a reviewer can do, wasn’t enough for me.
Its opening pages fired my interest, and I intend to read it at leisure, savoring and
slowly digesting each chapter. – Iven lourie
PROFITS OF DEATH
An Insider Exposes the Death Care Industries
by Darryl J. Roberts
238 pp., paper, $17.95,
ISBN: 1-877749-21-4Five Star Publications, Inc., Chandler, AZ: 1997
Let me just say that upon reading the first chapter of this book, I chose to take a
very firm stand on how I wanted my remains to be cared for and decided to create
a Last Will and a Living Will to insure that end. No embalming please. Strangely
enough, contrary to public belief, embalming is not required by law under most
circumstances nor does it help in preserving the body for any length of time.
This is just one of the fun facts I learned upon reading Profits of Death, written by
Darryl J. Roberts. This is a witty yet informative expose of the death care industry
written from an insider’s perspective. Roberts – a 30 year veteran – opens the doors
to the mortuary business and gives an honest portrayal of what goes on behind the
scenes.
As always, with information comes knowledge. In using this book as a manual, one
is able to intelligently make informed decisions regarding the final repose of one’s
self or one’s family. In addition, Roberts explains how to do this in a wise financial
manner. In other words, he tells you how to save money while at the same time
exposing how those in the industry will make every effort to separate the family of
the deceased from their money. Remember, the death care industry is a business – a
very big business and these folks are out to make a profit. And unfortunately, a
family’s grief and confusion are often used as a seem in which to place the
proverbial crowbar. So, buyer beware. Read this book. Death is as much a part of
the natural cycle as life. Thanks to Darryl Roberts, we are able to be informed
consumers in the final round. – Maureen Nelly
Death’s Door: True Stories of Near-Death Experiences
by Jean Ritchie
288 pp., paperback, $5.99,
ISBN:0-440-22172-2, Dell Publishing
This is the book to hand out to your parents, your patients, your in-laws if you have
ever experienced the unusual or the weird and you would like your friends and
relations to have the context of what has happened to you and not think that you are
too strange. Fortunately Jean Ritchie includes so many examples of a variety of
experiences and the background research of many years that you can feel relaxed
about what has happened to you. It won’t be nearly as difficult to explain yourself
after you have passed around several copies of this book. Ritchie writes plain fact in
a simple language and titles her chapters well, for example: Affairs of the Heart, A
Mixed Bag, Out of the Blue. Hokey but well-writen. Simple and to the point. A
worthwhile read for any but the most conservative and non-exploring individual. I
give it an A. – Pat Elizabeth
The Consumer’s Guide to Death, Dying and Bereavement
by Roger Shipley
256 pp. hardcover, $19.95,
1982, ISBN: 0-88280-085-X, ETC Publications
I am including this old, but useful, paperback in these reviews because I haven’t
found as good an example recently published. This was a brave book at the time
because the “Industry” of dying—medical, funeral, legal, financial— was very
closed in terms of broadcasting their policies and the difficulties you might
encounter. This is a source book to follow up with more current publications if you
need immediate research. Just looking at the table of contents will clue you in to the
depth of the research covered: Chapter 3 – The Cost of Dying – The Consumer and
the Funeral Industry – Section 5 – Embalming Without Permission or Section 9 –
Overcharge on Cash Advance Items. This is the book you want to read now to
know about for the future. It pays to be informed. Caveat Emptor. I give this a
grade A. Find it in a used book store or order from the publisher (hardcover
currently).
Beyond the Ashes: Cases of Reincarnation from the Holocaust
by Rabbi Yonassan Gershom
320 pp., paper, $12.95, 1992,
ISBN: 0-87604-293-0, A.R.E. Press
[also: From Ashes to Healing: Mystical Encounters with the Holocaust by Rabbi
Yonassan Gershom, 232 pp., paper, $14.95, 1996, ISBN: 0-87604-340-6, A.R.E.
Press]
I love these books. These are the greatest descriptive collections of stories of
past-life, and the background to the Judaic history of reincarnation in the lay field
that I have seen available. Mostly Rabbi Gershom is one of the most fantastic
archivists, storytellers, and reporters that the subject of reincarnation has had in its
long and varied history. Both books include first person accounts, scholarly
anecdotes for the Jewish traditions, inquiry and concern over the effect of these
exposures. An elegantly stated hypothesis for our obligation to honor these issues is
the part that I liked the best. It is included in both books, first in Beyond the Ashes
as one of the dreams the author included in Chapter Nine – Cycles of Return, pp.
233-234 and then as Appendix B: “Did the Soul of Hitler Repent?” in From Ashes
to Healing. I see this essay as the core of the question regarding reincarnation and
how the subject can be put to good use in each individual’s life and possibly for
something so magnificent as the benefit of the planet. Check it out for yourself. You
won’t go wrong. Grade: A++
My Life After Dying, Becoming Alive to Universal Love
by George G. Ritchie, Jr. M.D.
176 pp., paper, $9.95, 1991,
ISBN: 1878901-25-7, Hampton Roads Publishing
This book has many good things going for it. The fact the author is an M.D. and
that his event took place in the army give a lot of credibility to the story. Ritchie has
a wonderfully simple writing style and doesn’t try to communicate more than the
simple facts as they occurred to him. His hopeful and positive outlook combined
with straightforward logical thinking make this book one of the best to offer new
students in the subject of NDE’s and even the slightly evangelistic quality of his
conclusions is not offensive given the context of his experience. I recommend this
book 100%. GRADE A
After Death, A New Future for Human Consciousness
by Darryl Reanney
304 pp., hardcover, $23.00, 1995,
ISBN: 0-688-14420-9, William Morrow
I saved this book for last because it is my all time favorite text of the subject of
death. Unfortunately for the planet Darryl Reanney died of leukemia while working
on his second book so we will not have the benefit of his thoughtful and
painstakingly exact logic on this subject again. However, as a molecular biologist his
study of death covers physiological, psychological, historical, philosophical and
cosmological aspects. It is one of the most beautiful and elegant presentations of
man’s thinking on the subject and his analytical structure and conscientious word
style allows any novice thinker to follow his train of thought and ponder along the
way. I have read this book many times and intend to continue to do so. My hope is
that anyone with an interest or a fear in the business of life will take time to read
this book about death. OFF THE CHARTS. TRIPLE A. – Pat Elizabeth
Rest Lightly – An Anthology of Latin and Greek Tomb Inscriptions
by Paul Shore
84pp., Paperback,
ISBN 0-86516-355-3, Bolchazy-Carducci
This is a scholarly yet accessible work where the author presents 30 lively and
interesting tomb inscriptions to give insight into the culture of the Greco-Roman era.
In its unique, off-beat approach, the book will be of interest to school age students,
but, as it is well illustrated, with a layout and format that make it easily
approachable, the text will interest just about anyone who picks it up.
I found that I first went through the book enjoying the variety of the sayings, and
then read the text later. Here were four concise sections explaining the value of the
study of tomb inscriptions, an overview of Greco-Roman ideas of the afterlife, a
history of the study of inscriptions, and the author’s criteria for making the particular
selections offered in this book.
The tone of the presentation is enjoyable, and the inscriptions themselves often
have a whimsical quality which allows us to feel closer to those who lived and died
over a thousand years ago. Many of the ideas which we hold as our own, and pride
as being modern take a decidedly ancient bent. There is a tomb of ‘an ancient
existentialist ‘ or note the second century Roman inscription: “These are the bones
of Pompeia’s eldest daughter, fortune promises much to many, but grants it to none.
Live for the day and the hour, for nothing is our own. Salvius and Eros erected this
stone.”
We heartily recommend this book for the excellent way that it has combined layout
and content. The themes of the epitaphs are universal, and in this way they reveal a
transcendent viewpoint to the reader. The ancients are brought closer in a clear and
unhurried milieu. – Abrams
The Undiscovered Country – Exploring the Promise of Death
by Eknath Easwaran
144 pp., hard cover, $22.00
ISBN: 0-915132-84-2, Nilgiri Press
This is a book that feels good in the hand. It is one of those perfectly-sized
hardcovers that make it easy to reach for and refer to at need. Within its covers are
tiny gems of information and poignant tales relating to the topic of death and one’s
relationship to death. How do we learn from death, how do we recognize its
presence?
Easwaran came to the U.S. on a Fulbright scholarship but was originally born in
Southern India. He speaks of his grandmother – his first teacher and guide – who
introduced him to the idea of death as a natural part of life. “Her inspiration enabled
me to understand that in the midst of life I am in death, and to want above
everything else to go beyond death in this very life.” To go beyond death is not to
ignore it, fear it or change it into something that it is not. “For death is very near,
waiting for each one of us. It is because we do not remember this that most of our
attention goes to goals and possessions and activities that have little lasting value.”
Mainly it is the mood of this book that is its strongest voice. It is, without a doubt,
inspiring . Its uplifting quality adds a certain chord to the daily drama of life. It
reminds us that time is the illusion and that each of us do indeed have an essential
part which is not transient. In the words of the author: “To vanquish death we have
only to discover who we really are: not the perishable, material body but the eternal
Self, which dwells in the body but does not die when the body dies.” – Maureen Nelly
Angels Healing Journey by E.J. Gold
160 pp., paper, $15.95,
ISBN: 0-89556-111-5,
Gateways Books & Tapes
This new book is formatted as a 49-day set of readings to guide a Being through
terminus and through the journey of the afterlife. Since each day’s reading
represents a chamber presided over by an angelic guide with the correlative color
and other essential radiations, there is also a chart keying these readings to ailments
that they may help heal vibrationally, spiritually. In this pre-publication comment,
dream-worker and tarot practitioner Heather Valencia suggests yet another use, as
an oracle:
Angels Healing Journey is the angelic charting of passage of the Human Beings
from the experience of the phenomenal worlds back to the Divine perfected Realm
of the original Garden. Every word and every passage of this profound teaching
contains the nucleus of the Great Mystery from the point within the “present
chamber” of the Voyaging Being. Open this book at random and the text on the
page where you find yourself will reveal the completed theater of your present
position, as the Guide of the chamber simultaneously offers you the “Divining Rod,”
whose radiations are able to reveal your innermost truth. Exposure to the radiations
of this book produce alignment with Being Evolution. There have always existed in
Creation certain rare and precious texts, that are “alive.” Angels Healing Journey is
such a body of writing, and such treasure is my view of Eldorado. – Heather Valencia
What Am I Going to Do With Myself When I Die? Canine, John B. Stamford, CT:
Appleton & Lange, 1999. ISBN:0-8385-9710-6.
Few industries have been as bombarded with suspicion, challenge and change as has been the
funeral industry. We have witnessed it stretch from the down home funeral director who was a
neighbor and friend (there are still many of these folks still available) to high-tech, large volume
conglomerates that may well be providing good service, but easily raise questions about their
commitment to the people of the community, adaptability to client needs and their
appreciation for the importance of bereavement aftercare.
Canine’s book offers a welcomed integrity, the blending of contemporary issues with timeless
values, a personal glimpse of the funeral director who comes with integrity and values the needs of
the customer, but also is willing to raise some of the tough questions that can easily be ‘buried” in the
name of profit motive, bottom lines and competition.
In the Preface we are introduced to funeralization, the system that is well in place as we, or someone
we love, experiences the transition from this life to the next and the end of life choices a person must
make. We are reminded that, despite the pressures of the instant oriented boomer generation, the
funeral still serves as the collection of rituals, stories, experiences, feelings and memories that
understanding and meaning to “the American way of death” and how we experience dying, death and
bereavement. We are reminded of death’s universal and equalizing role. “Death is an imminent
possibility for all people at all times. It reduces us to nothingness.” (p. 3). From the nothingness of
death to the somethingness of life, death and whatever is eternal for us, we explore the issues and
needs of individuals, the ethical dimensions and challenges that confront us and the industries and
services that accommodate us, and what all of this means for and from the funeral industry.
“Funeral Directors: They Are Not Descendants of The Addams Family!’ is a very redemptive
chapter. Yes, there are many in the funeral industry who deserve examination, scrutinization and
criticism. We need standards by which to evaluate these individuals and organizations, and to protect
the rights and vulnerabilities of the public, but this chapter reminds us that these are still a minority
opinion. It is good to see an affirmation of those who practice integrity in an industry, despite the
misdeeds of the few which tend to grab the headlines.
There is very helpful discussion of death’s place within life, freeing us up for pre funeral planning
(with all of the information you will need on the subject), the role of rituals, options for rituals and
burial (including a very thought provoking discussion of cremation) and the many issues that surround
how we de. including assisted suicide. We are reminded that funeral directors struggle with many of
the same issues.
We have a helpful discussion of grief, including complicated mourning, and the role of the funeral
home in providing decisive leadership with aftercare.
Much of the rest of the book, with some helpful detours, focuses on the present and the future of
the funeral industry. For readers outside of the industry in gives pause to reflect on the complexities of
this industry and how best to enter this world without being strangled by those complexities. The
funeral industry is challenged to live in the world of managed care, and also to rethink their values and
significance for the generation to come. This book will serve well, raise continued questions, foster
dialog and facilitate comfort and healing.
A Review from The World Pastoral Care Center by Richard Gilbert.
All materials reviewed through The World Pastoral Care Center can be ordered directly
through Theological Book Service (800.558.0580) in the U.S., and, for Canadians and
residents in The United Kingdom, at Northern Spirit Press (416.635.9797). Both are
partners in The World Pastoral Care Center. All of our reviews, both full reviews and
the summary reviews presented as Resources Hotline can be reprinted, reproduced
and quoted, with credit given. For information on The World Pastoral Care Center contact us at
1504 N. Campbell, Valparaiso, IN 463853454. Phone: 219.464.6183. FAX:219.531.2230.
Rgilbert@valpo.edu
Facing Death and Finding Hope – A Guide to the Emotional and
Spiritual Care of the Dying
Review of Presentation by Christine Longaker at the NHO National Conference, Dallas,
November, 1998
Christine Longaker, author of Facing Death and Finding Hope – A Guide to the Emotional and
Spiritual Care of the Dying, was among the presenters at the NHO Symposium in Dallas, Texas in
November 1998. Ms Longaker, a long time associate of Sogyal Rinpoche, author of The Tibetan
Book of Living and Dying, addressed the personal qualities that caregivers can nurture to bring to
bedside of the dying, and the pertinence of the approach to living and dying emerging from Tibetan
Buddhist thought.
Ms. Longaker opened the session with an exercise. She asked the audience to just sit quietly,
and use the image of a shaken glass of muddy water to represent the usual state of our mind, and to
imagine that by sitting quietly we could allow another aspect of mind, the natural clarity, to emerge.
She asked that the audience members allow their minds to slowly settle as they sat. She ended this
opening exercise with the suggestion that such an exercise allows a person to be a little more
present. She emphasized the importance of the quality of presence that caregivers bring to their care or the dying.
Ms. Longaker spoke of her entry into a spiritual path. She spoke of the death of her husband
20 years ago of leukemia, and how her experience with his death moved her toward an involvement
with issues related to end of life care. She spoke of her involvement in a hospice program and her
introduction to Sogyal Rinpoche. She spoke of her continuing involvement with Sogyal Rinpoche,
Rigpa (Sogyal Rinpoche’s network of training centers), and the Spiritual Care Education and Training
Program, with which her role is Senior Educator.
Ms. Longaker spoke of putting into daily practice, from whatever spiritual tradition a person
follows, an experience that supports the ability to more present in moments of caring for the dying.
Ms Longaker noted that such daily practices also provide care for the caregiver, creating an
atmosphere of greater peace, and the ability to be more present.
Ms. Longaker spoke of personal qualities that contribute to care for the dying. She noted
genuineness, confidence, and presence.
In speaking about the quality of presence Ms. Longaker addressed the dual aspect of
presence. She spoke of our habitual way of being outwardly active but internally absent. The
counter to this was seek internally, and act from, a deep clear awareness. She said that recognizing
the dying person as a whole person could enhance this quality of deep presence. She spoke of seeing
the dying person as more than their suffering. She used the image of mist on a mirror to describe a
patient’s suffering. The suffering was not always there. The patient has an essence: intact, whole,
infinite, unborn and undying. She described a point of view of death as a transition, that essence
continues past this transition. She addressed the possibility that care can support the infinite part of
person.
Ms Longaker spoke of genuineness from the point of view of recognizing that there was not a
huge difference between the caregiver and dying person. She suggested that caregivers be open to
letting the dying give their final lessons about life. She used the image of little boats on a river moving toward a waterfall – the moment of death. She pointed out that no one could be certain when that moment would come for him or her.
Ms Longaker referred to some ideas described in her book. She spoke of four tasks of living
and dying from her text. She described death as a very active time of life. The four tasks she
described as follows: 1. understanding and transforming suffering; 2. making a connection, healing
relationships, and letting go; 3. preparing spiritually for death; and, 4. finding meaning in life. She
indicated that her main focus in her talk was to address the third task of spiritually preparing for death and assisting patients in this task. She noted that in attending to this task with clients causes us to look at our own death, our fears and how we are applying ourselves to the task of living and dying.
Points that Ms. Longaker made were often accompanied by a story. She said that she used
stories rather than overheads. Several points that she made included quotations and references to
Sogyal Rinpohe’s work. One quotation, she indicated, summed up a great deal related to the
spiritual practices around dying. She repeated several times: “At the moment of death, there are two things that count: Whatever we have done in our lives, and what state of mind we are in at that
moment.”
Ms Longaker made a significant point using details from descriptions of Near Death
Experiences (NDE’s). She described the sense of expansion, peace and joy that characterize many
NDE’s. She described death as a great opportunity to recognize a connection to the infinite. She
also offered the view that a risk is present that a person in death may “smuggle across” all theirs fears, attachments, troubles, etc., which would make any after death experience a continuation of the suffering present in the current life.
Ms Longaker spoke of a choice that individuals make in how they live. She spoke of the
many moments of transition in everyday life in which a person may choose to continue the habits and suffering that they experience in life. She noted the many “little deaths” that we experience on the way to the “big death” at the end of life. She spoke of the moment of first waking in the morning, a time of presence and awareness, before all the thoughts and concerns about life flood back in to awareness. She spoke of the possibility that we habitually regenerate our suffering every day, and that there is a choice to do other than that through a daily spiritual practice.
Ms. Longaker shared a number of stories to elaborate her points. She told a story about what
she described as the practice of the continuous prayer of the heart. A woman took on the practice in her dying of saying, “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me.” Ms. Longaker described how this
practice transformed the woman’s process of dying. She spoke of the importance of facilitating a
dying client’s effort to find meaning in their life and death. She spoke of the importance of
compassion. She told a story of concentration camp victims in W.W.II dedicating their suffering to
the wish for the well being of others whom they loved.
Ms. Longaker referred to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s work. She spoke of a Reverend Mwalimu
Imara and the notion of three commitments for a meaningful life. She described the three
commitments as follows: To become aware of and accept ourselves; to invest ourselves in authentic
dialogue with others; and, to decide on a positive direction of growth.
Ms. Longaker offered a description of a spiritual practice from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition.
She spoke of Phowa: Traditional Phowa and Essential Phowa. She described the process of
Essential Phowa. The reader may be interested to know that this practice as described is on pages
124-5 of Ms. Longaker’s book.
Ms. Longaker’s book is available through Main Street Books, Doubleday, New York
Surviving the Fall by Peter Selwyn (available through Yale University Press (P.O. Box 209040 New Haven Connecticut 06520-9040)
A Caregiver’s Journey, presentation by Peter Selwyn at the NHO Conference, Dallas,
November, 1998
Peter A. Selwyn, M.D. presented readings from his book Surviving the Fall as part of his talk
at the November 1998 NHO Symposium in Dallas, Texas. Dr. Selwyn began work with AIDS
patients at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, NY in 1981. His book is intended in part to be
a tribute to the patients with whom Dr. Selwyn worked for more than ten years. Surviving the Fall
also is a documentation of Dr. Selwyn’s own efforts at coming to terms with his father’s death by
suicide when he was an infant. Dr. Selwyn’s presentation also allowed an opportunity for hospice
nurses and other professionals in the audience to share parts of their stories related to the impact;
both, of the deaths of patients, and the on-going work with dying patients.
Dr. Selwyn began his presentation with several readings from his book. The excerpts
poignantly related stories of people who struggled with their life with, and their death from the AIDS virus. Dr. Selwyn humanizes and memorializes his deceased patients in his writing.
Other readings from Surviving the Fall related Dr. Selwyn’s process of addressing his personal
struggle with his father’s death by suicide. Dr. Selwyn recounted his anniversary visit to the building in NYC where his father apparently jumped to his death.
Dr. Selwyn spoke about a certain parallel between deaths by suicide and death from the AIDS virus.
He offered the view that both AIDS and suicide stigmatize both the deceased and the survivors.
Following his readings, Dr. Selwyn offered an opportunity for the audience to share stories.
The atmosphere created by the intensity of the readings seemed to invite openness. Slowly, but soon gathering momentum, members of the audience joined in relating stories of their experiences with dying patients. Dr. Selwyn’s intention seems genuine that he hopes by telling his story that he can contribute the healing of others facing losses and death. He puts a genuinely human face on the
stories of his patients.
His capacity for compassion is evident in the passages from his book.
Dr. Selwyn continues his work with AIDS patients. He is Associate Director, AIDS Program,
and, Associate Professor of Medicine and Epidemiology & Public Health Yale University School of
Medicine. Dr. Selwyn is also the medical director of a skilled nursing home for patients with AIDS in the New Haven, CT. area.
When Something Changes Everything, Peter McGugan Potentials Press, Palm Springs, CA
1998 ISBN 0-9694312-1
Peter McGugan was the Keynote speaker at the NYSHA Conference in Saratoga Springs,
October of 1998. He gave a wonderful speech…I believe that everyone was inspired by it, and his
message was that Hospice needs to clarify its message and present it to the public very strongly.
People still do not have an idea as to what hospice really is, and until they do, there will be funding
problems, referral problems and the like. It is a communication problem, a focus problem, a
marketing problem. He started his talk by discussing brittleness, the inability to adapt. When we
were kids we loved new body positions and sensations but now we are brittle, we are afraid and
intimidated by new sensations. But who should be better equipped to deal with change than hospice
professional? Indeed they are escorts through change.
Marketing, marketing, all is marketing…and in today’s day and age this is how we communicate.
So there are rules and efficient ways to go about this. Peter McGugan knows the shortcuts. He
knows the things that organizations need to do to position themselves for change, and as escorts
through change, hospice already knows these rules it need only organize and implement. But hospice
is characterized by vagueness. It must find a voice and sing its song in order to get the support it
needs. It must improve in telling people what it does so that they “get it.” A product is a feeling as
much as an actual service. Purchase is an emotional buy in, so when communicating its story, hospice
should use the language of the heart. I hope Peter excuses me for paraphrasing, but here is some
more of the rules of the new marketing that he pointed out:
1.. The business you are in isn’t as important as the one your customers think you are in.
2.. Work from your point of competitive advantage. What do you need to be doing more of, and
what do you need to be doing less of in regard to your point of competitive advantage?
3. When you grow from your point of competitive advantage you will be safe because that is your
“it.”
4. A good position, “centered on your competitive advantage and aimed at the values of the people
you’re attracting.” You can find out about these values and the needs of the people by asking them ie.
“during this process what do you need?”
5. Winners play by the customer’s rules.
6. A purchase or use of your service is an emotional buy in on the part of your client, so there has to
be emotional communication. Actually the hospice administrator has to be able to speak on three
levels, corporate, professional, and client based.
Peter ended by talking about the emotional aspects of communication. How most communication
problems are actually emotional gates which we must find the keys for in order to open. We have to
love and accept someone for who they truly are in order to find the key.
He then spoke a bit about his book, and we offer a short review of it here.
Peter’s work is with change; handling change, understanding it and not resisting it. Yet so many
facets of society are aimed at denying this very important aspect of our lives. Some part of us longs
for a sedentary secure existence and it is just this part that is threatened and uncomfortable in the
face of the inevitable change. Resiliency is a key word here.
In his book, When Something Changes Everything, Peter presents a map and guidebook to lead
one through the journey of change. The guide is the question: “What am I afraid of today?”
“If you awaken each day and ask yourself what am I afraid of today and then approach that with
research and wisdom, you will be healed and empowered.” p.5
The guidebook has over 120 different chapters, stories, meditations, and exercises on the
different aspects of change. Topics include: “Aka Threads,” “Earth Angels,” “the Zero Zone,”
“Tutors,” “Drama Queens,” and many many more. “Approaches for Friends and Family” is
particularly excellent, but the entire book and the way it is presented with the short chapters is very
accessible in a variety of ways. It could be opened at random for a morning meditation, (watch
out…you might not want to put it down), or one of the “paths” can be followed which leads you
through different chapters depending on the nature of your situation. An exercise could be selected
and you could work with it throughout the course of the day.
There are so many quotes and things to remember about this book, but I believe the essence is in
remembering where Peter is coming from. He knows change. And he knows that when change is
seen as growth then people are not afraid, but welcome it.
