Where Are We Without Ritual and Ceremony?
This presentation at the NHO conference by Milton Hay, a scholarly gentleman, and Judy Davis, “the bag lady of bereavement,” addressed both the theoretical and practical aspects of ceremony. It showed ways of working with everyday rituals in bereavement counseling.
The class was a living demonstration of the ways to use ceremony in a group instructional setting. After the introduction we participated in a short ritual, a very simple way to get the group to focus in a small way. Judy asked if anyone had a birthday in October and opened a book of seasons to the page of the birth date. A short reading was given and our attention was concentrated ever the more by this process. It also gave an opening for “chance” or intuition to enter the gathering.
We then brainstormed to come up with a multi-dimensional definition of ceremony. It is always surprising what happens with this exercise, a word is on the tip of your tongue and someone else says it. More connections are made.
Forming smaller groups we were asked to formulate a list of our favorite everyday rituals. These included: walking a labyrinth, making jewelry out of family heirlooms, creating photographic montages as a group, passing a ball of yarn around and weaving a group story, making a mobile with each member bringing one piece and everyone coming together for the assembly. The tree of life was mentioned, with ornaments containing an individual’s story, and finally a service where memorial paper “boats” or candles are floated out onto a lake, a very beautiful image indeed!
Rituals are at once personal and participatory. Milton showed how in reference to a model of being as comprised of mind, sensation and intuition, ritual allows participation by all centers but gives intuition the guiding role. The needs for ritual are to establish order, reaffirm meaning, create community, bridge ambivalence and encounter mystery.
The workshop ended with questions and with Judy showing us some of the contents of her famous bag. With all the yarn, ribbons, ornaments, paper beads, pennies, fishing lures, mobiles, photographs, stories, containers and ceremonial accessories, its not just any ordinary bag, but a bag of tricks!
