Seeking Ceremony and End of Life Planning

A few websites were suggested by a friend in reference to work that she is doing with the Clear Light Funeral, which we will be writing much more about in the near future.

She says: “The Lantern.co is a very useful resource. Also, Talk of a Lifetime is one resource that I found useful in ‘how to initiate’ conversations about end of life and seeking ceremony specifically addresses creating a meaningful end of life ceremony.”

We found this meaningful quote on the Seeking Ceremony website: “When you don’t know what to say, or how to say it, ceremony is a good place to start.”

Finally, what is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?
“The mortuary industry on the internet seems to say: “A funeral service typically takes place with the body of the departed present, whereas a memorial service takes place without the actual body present.” It’s also a memorial service when the person’s ashes, or “cremains” are present.
Many people are having zoom memorials. There is a great deal of coordination required. So I started looking for something a little more flexible and yet accessible. Ancestry’s We Remember memory pages are an interesting ‘non-commercial’ way to celebrate a life.”

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How to do a Reading

Listed below are some simple steps to help you in doing a prayer or reading. We don’t presume to tell anyone how to perform his or her spiritual practice. That is a personal matter left to the individual. What we present here are some techniques that we hope will help you in your practice.

Doing a spiritual reading or a prayer is fairly straightforward. The most important factor is your intention. If you want to help someone that’s the most important thing. That’s the big secret. All you really have to do is want to help! Your good wishes will be conveyed with the prayer. The form of the prayer and the way you perform it are not as important as your good intention.

Step 1: Find a place to do the Reading

Find a location where you will not be disturbed for 15 to 20 minutes. It does not need to be a private space – just one where you will not be required to move or interact with others during the Reading.

Step 2: Gather the few materials you will need for the Reading

Gather the following items: 

  • Name of the individual for whom you are reading 
  • Sacred text you will be reading from, such as The American Book of the Dead by E.J. Gold
  • Photograph of the individual for whom you are reading (if available)

The name and photograph are used in establishing contact with the Voyager – the individual the Reading is directed to.

For the next 4 steps see: 6 Steps to Doing a Reading

May this be used for the benefit of all beings everywhere. 

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Garrison Institute Program: Care for Caregivers

The Garrison Institute has been offering programs in mindfulness and meditation for both laypersons and clinicians/ practitioners for years. It is a cornerstone of life in the beautiful Hudson Valley region of New York state. Now it has become a virtual sanctuary and is offering a video series of instructions for caregivers (and everyone) that are truly excellent!

Care for Caregivers: Skills for Resilience Through Meditation & Mindful Movement

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A Dedication to be used before Prayer or Readings for the Deceased

Here is a simple and short way to open a prayer session. Please see the full prayer/reading cycle as it could be offered in the Christian tradition at: https://thecaregiverwebsite.com/a-christian-readers-vigil/

Dedication

May the Results
Of This effort
Be for The benefit of
The present and future needs
Of All Beings Everywhere

Prayer of Unity
I am one in this body
I am one within this mind
I am one in these feelings
I am one within this self
I am one in this being
I am one within the laws
I am one in the Chamber
I am one to do this task

Reader’s Invocation
To be read before the prayer or reading 

I invoke the presence of
My highest possible
State of being
With full attention
Into this moment
As I begin
This Reading task.

It is my intention
To serve
In this small way
To assist the spirit…the soul… the Being
Who we knew as ________________

I acknowledge the impermanence
Of human life
And the suffering
That uncertainty
About what follows death
Brings to surviving family and friends

I acknowledge death
As the destination of all
Human bodies
Including my own
And the one
In which the being
We knew as _________________
Found a temporary home

I acknowledge Hope
as a gesture
offered to offset Loss and Grief
My hope is that the Being
We knew as ________________
moved beyond the body
And entered a larger world of spirit
and was welcomed home
May my reading
Find  __________________
No matter where they are
And
May it guide them as needed

May this invocation
Fortify my sincerity
Diminish my doubt and fear
May I find the strength to focus
In spite of uncertainty
About my role as a reader
And about what happens
to the being
Beyond the death of the body

I acknowledge Gratitude for
This opportunity
To serve
In this manner
In this time of sorrowful necessity
May God

And spiritual beings everywhere
Support my reading effort
By allowing me to work
In the light of Grace

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The Fundamental Buddhist Teachings of the Tibetan Book of the Dead

The Fundamental Teachings Summarized from W.Y. Evans-Wentz introduction Section XII of The Tibetan Book of the Dead

clear light buddha

“…we may now summarize the chief teachings upon which the whole of the Bardo Thodol is based as follows:

  1. That all possible conditions, or states, or realms of sangsaric existence, heavens, hells, and worlds, are entirely dependent upon phenomena, or, in other words, are naught but phenomena;
  2. That all phenomena are transitory, are illusionary, are unreal, and non-existent save in the sangsaric mind perceiving them;
  3. That in reality there are no such beings anywhere as gods, or demons, or spirits, or sentient creatures – all alike being phenomena dependent on cause;
  4. That this cause is a yearning or thirsting after sensation, after the unstable sangsaric existence;
  5. That so long as this cause is not overcome by Enlightenment death follows birth and birth death, unceasingly – even as the wise Socrates believed;
  6. That the after-death existence is but a continuation, under changed conditions, of the phenomena-born existence of the human world – both states being karmic;
  7. That the nature of the existence intervening between death and rebirth in this or any other world is determined by antecedent actions;
  8. That psychologically speaking, it is a prolonged dreamlike state, in what may be called the fourth dimension of space, filled with hallucinatory visions directly resultant from the mental-content of the percipient, happy and heaven-like, if the Karma be good, miserable and hell-like if the Karma be bad;
  9. That Enlightenment results from realizing the unreality of the sangsara of existence;
  10. That unless Enlightenment be won, rebirth in the human world, directly from the Bardo-world or from any other world or from any paradise or hell to which Karma has led, is inevitable;
  11. That such realizing is possible in the human world, or at the important moment of death in the human world, or during the whole of the after-death or Bardo-state, or in certain of the non-human realms;
  12. That training in yoga, i.e. in control of the thinking processes so as to be able to concentrate the mind in an effort to reach Right Knowledge, is essential;
  13. That such training can best be had under a human guru or teacher;
  14. That the Greatest of Gurus known to mankind in this cycle of time is Gautama the Buddha;
  15. That His Doctrine is not unique, but is the same Doctrine which has been proclaimed in the human world for the gaining of Salvation, for the Deliverance from the Circle of Rebirth and Death, for the Crossing of the Ocean of Sangsara, for the Realization of Nirvana, since immemorial time, by a long and illustrious Dynasty of Buddhas, who were Gautama’s predecessors;
  16. That lesser spiritually enlightened beings, Bodhisattvas and gurus, in this world or in other worlds, though still not freed from the Net of Illusion, can, nevertheless, bestow divine grace and power upon the skishya (i.e. the chela or disciple) who is less advanced upon the Path than themselves;
  17. That the Goal is and can only be Emancipation from Sangsara;
  18. That such Emancipation comes from the Realization of Nirvana;
  19. That nirvana is non-sangsaric, being beyond all paradises, heavens, hells, and worlds;
  20. That it is the Ending of Sorrow;
  21. That it is Reality. “


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Advice for the Moment of Death Tibetan Buddhism

This may well be the most important post I have ever shared. Very clear explanation of the Buddhist teachings which are relevant to our times. If you can listen to just the first 30 minutes you will get the gist of the teachings that we impart in our book Caregiver Revolution:

  • as much as possible maintain an undisturbed positive atmosphere at the deathbed
  • use the reminder that some day you will be dying to keep a positive compassionate mental framework while you’re alive and able to practice.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t stress. As caregivers we are often concerned that we have to do things perfectly, but we don’t have to! Just a little mindfulness, a tiny bit more relaxation about the situation, a touch of humor and we are on our way…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isceXZ8u87k&t=1345s

Thanks to friend Eugene G, Govinda for recommending this video!

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