Pat’s Corner
I want to speak about 2 books in the death and dying field that continue to hold my interest and that I will continue to use until my final day. The first is the classic, (25 years in print this month), American Book of the Dead by E.J. Gold published by Gateways. This book was one of the first to bring ancient oral teachings into the context of the North American 20th century experience. When it was first released in 1973 there was nothing else like it. Now, of course, we are fortunate to have a growing library of books that speak about the subject of death; for caregivers, bereaving family members, and interested students.
Welcoming the reader with humor and wit the ABD is not confined to the scholarly, e.g: “My portion of food is given away; the body is stripped of its clothes, and prepared for the shroud; the bed is cleaned, the bedroom swept, my idiot nephew has taken over the business, my favorite Iguanacon T-shirt and coffee cup are given to the Salvation Army thrift shop, and my friends and relations are nearby watching all this and doing nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. They’re cleaning us out of canapÈs and potato salad.”
The other very useful text of which I finally received a copy from Grant Abrams during the recent NHO Conference in Pittsburgh, is Earl A. Grollman’s Concerning Death: a Practical Guide for the Living, published by Beacon Press in 1974. Just listen to the chapter headings: Grief, Care of the Dying Person, The Doctor, Fatal Illness and the Family, Children and Death, The Protestant Way in Death and Mourning, The Roman Catholic Way in Death and Mourning, The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning, The Law and Death, Insurance and Death, The Coroner and Death, The Funeral and the Funeral Director, How to Select a Cemetery, Choosing a Memorial, and so on. This was 25 years ago! Essays written to the cultural attitudes of the times, they are appropriate even today and the variety of the themes and styles is abundant. The social milieu of today includes the topics of health care, insurance, or even end of life concerns, but in 1974 this was the exception. A bravely written and still relevant book.
Which brings me to my topic of the moment. The means of including antiquity and the impact of the ages on the death scene of today. Many varieties of religious interpretation are available for the curious, the scholarly or the faithful. All one has to do is dig into the particular tracts of a faith and he or she will find reference to previous generations. In the context of the family history of death he or she may be fortunate to find a family bible or perhaps recorded accounts or stories of passage, especially if these were unique in some way. But what about legends, myths, songs, poems, headstones as carrying parts of our past acclimation to death into the psychosocial reactions of today? If we investigate the effects of a death in our family or in our nation, we can see its reverberations for years and even generations to come. But we have no way to actively participate in the creation of specific counter effects if we don’t recognize the patterns as they flow. That is why these two books represent something which should be included in the libraries of our children and family members to inculcate a sense of worth and value as they grow and as they die.
reviews by Pat Elizabeth
